Not everything can grow in the same soil. Some of us are asking God for rain, for light, for harvest — but we haven’t cleared the ground.
Growth is painful sometimes. Not because God isn’t good, but because letting go is hard. That’s what pruning is. Jesus talked about it — how the Father cuts off the things that don’t bear fruit. Even the branches that do grow? He trims them too, so they can bear more.
We wrote this list not from the mountaintop, but from the messy in-between. From seasons where we had to wrestle with ourselves, break some cycles, and let God do the heart surgery.
So here it is — 13 things we had to lay down to grow deeper in God. And maybe, just maybe, you need to lay them down too.
1. The Need To Be In Control
We like feeling in charge. Planning every step. Mapping our lives out. But growth doesn’t work like that. God leads, we follow. Even when it’s dark. Even when we don’t understand.
📖 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.” – Proverbs 3:5-6
When we surrender, He moves. Letting go of control is the first act of faith.
2. Old Grudges and Quiet Bitterness
Some of us are praying for peace but holding on to poison. Bitterness grows quietly. It hides. It justifies itself. But it will choke your spirit and stunt your prayers.
📖 “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger… Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” – Ephesians 4:31-32
Let them go. Let God handle it. You weren’t made to carry that weight.
3. Comparison
Nothing kills your joy like staring at someone else’s journey. Growth requires focus. You won’t grow in your own lane if you’re busy watching theirs.
📖 “Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else.” – Galatians 6:4
God’s plan for you is tailor-made. Stop questioning the blueprint.
4. Shame From Your Past
God has forgiven you. Why are you still dragging that old guilt around? Shame makes you hide. Grace calls you out of hiding.
📖 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” – Romans 8:1
You don’t have to earn His love. You just have to receive it. Let shame go. You’ve been made new.
5. The Fear Of People’s Opinions
You can’t serve God and seek approval from the crowd. Growth demands boldness. And obedience often looks foolish to the world.
📖 “Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.” – Proverbs 29:25
Don’t shrink yourself to fit into places God never sent you to. What God thinks matters more.
6. Spiritual Laziness
We can’t grow on stale bread. We can’t survive on a verse a month. Spiritual growth takes effort. Discipline. Time.
📖 “Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation.” – 1 Peter 2:2
Set the alarm. Open the Word. Turn off the noise. Make room for Him. He always shows up.
7. Toxic Relationships
If someone constantly pulls you away from God, they don’t belong that close. Love people — yes. But guard your spirit too. Not every “friend” is from God.
📖 “Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character.’” – 1 Corinthians 15:33
Growth sometimes means walking away. Or at least, stepping back.
8. Excuses For Disobedience
We say we’re waiting on God. Sometimes, God’s waiting on us. He already gave the word. Now it’s your move.
📖 “If you are willing and obedient, you shall eat the good of the land.” – Isaiah 1:19
Delayed obedience is still disobedience. Do what He said. Even if it’s hard. Especially then.
9. Addictions You Pretend Aren’t Addictions
It doesn’t have to be drugs or alcohol. It can be binge-watching, social media, overeating, even approval-seeking. Anything you run to instead of God becomes an idol.
📖 “Everything is permissible for me—but I will not be mastered by anything.” – 1 Corinthians 6:12
Don’t normalize the thing that’s numbing you. God wants to set you free.
10. Jealousy Disguised As Discernment
Let’s be honest — some of our “concerns” about others are just envy. We criticize what we secretly desire. Growth begins with truth. Even hard truths.
📖 “For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.” – James 3:16
Celebrate others. God’s not out of blessings.
11. Overcommitting And Calling It “Serving”
You don’t have to say yes to everything. Even in church. Growth sometimes means rest. Jesus did it too.
📖 “Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” – Matthew 11:28
You can’t pour from an empty cup. Let go of hustle. Return to abiding.
12. The Fear Of Starting Small
We want fruit overnight. But God is a God of process. The kingdom starts like a mustard seed — tiny, but full of power.
📖 “Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin.” – Zechariah 4:10 (NLT)
Start. Even if it’s quiet. God honors obedience, not perfection.
13. Doubt That God Really Loves You
This one goes deep. Because if you don’t believe He loves you, you’ll never trust Him fully. But the cross already settled it.
📖 “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.” – Jeremiah 31:3
📖 “But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” – Romans 5:8
You don’t have to earn it. His love is the soil where everything good begins to grow.
Final Word
Letting go is not giving up. It’s giving God room to move. Every time we unclench our hands, something better can fall into them.
We’ve let go of some things with tears. Some with trembling. But always, God met us in that surrender. Every single time.
Growth is not about striving harder. It’s about yielding deeper.
You’re not alone in this. We’re growing too. One surrender at a time.